


Silence the Past

by sneakronicity



Category: Hawkeye (Comics), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Community: be_compromised, F/M, Gen, Vague descriptions of torture
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-28
Updated: 2014-12-28
Packaged: 2018-03-04 00:37:35
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,571
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2902925
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sneakronicity/pseuds/sneakronicity
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Clint is abducted by someone looking to make it personal, Natasha sets out to find him, but SHIELD rookie Kate Bishop is not about to let her go it alone.  Will they find him in time?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Silence the Past

**Author's Note:**

> Tried to MCU-ize a few characters here so I hope I did them justice. Thanks to my darling shenshen77 for the beta! Written for livejournal user Wizbey for the Be Compromised 2014 Secret Santa. Inspired by this prompt: "Clint captured and experimented on by HYDRA/Red Room. Natasha isn't going to let that happen and goes to save him (off SHIELD's radar // with no help from SHIELD // present day rebuilding SHIELD with no resources exist). Bonus points for (fraction) Kate Bishop as Natasha's backup; Cute comfort between Natasha and Clint." and further request for deaf Clint. Loved writing this one!

Surveying her neatly folded piles of clothing and various other items and toiletries, Natasha began to carefully pack her bag.She packed no weapons, not that she needed to. Everything she required was waiting for her in a little house in Asov, Russia; a house of her own that not even S.H.I.E.L.D. was aware of.

Before she could finish her task, a knock sounded at her door.Assuming it was Coulson come to tell her not to do anything stupid, she threw her bedspread back to cover the half-packed luggage and answered the door.The face that greeted her _was_ a surprise.

Agent Kate Bishop was a rookie, barely in her twenties, and only with S.H.I.E.L.D. for six months, but Clint had taken an instant shine to her once he had seen her natural prowess with the bow and arrow.He offered her private lessons, and he claimed that after only a few months she was almost as good as he was.They had gotten to be pretty good friends as well, but Natasha hadn’t spent much time with her, so why was she here?

“I was supposed to have a training session with Agent Barton, but he never showed,” Kate said by way of greeting.She clearly wasn’t about to waste the Black Widow’s time with pleasantries, a fact Natasha appreciated, especially considering the time crunch she was feeling.

“I’m sure he has his reasons,” she stated, keeping her post at the door so the girl couldn’t enter.

Kate’s eyes narrowed suspiciously.“Maybe, but then I asked around.He was supposed to return from his mission two days ago but nobody has seen him.”

“Sometimes complications arise and missions run overtime.It’s not unusual,” Natasha answered in the same even tone, not betraying a hint of emotion.

“Except that he completed his mission,” Kate responded, clearly irritated with the attempt to put her off.“Rumour has it he didn’t come back.Rumour has it he was taken.”  

The first hint of a reaction was the slightest twitch of Natasha’s eyes that would have been near imperceptible if Kate hadn’t been looking so hard for it.

“You shouldn’t believe every rumour-”

“Look, I’m worried, okay?” Kate cut her off, deciding it was time to just be frank.“Nobody will tell me anything official, but... they’ll tell you.”

The look Kate gave her made Natasha stop and consider the young woman before her.She was highly competent, one of S.H.I.E.L.D.’s best new recruits with her scores being in the top five percentile, both on written and physical exams.More than that, though, was the praise Clint had heaped upon her, and the affection he seemed to have for her.He had always told Natasha that she needed to learn to trust people, and he trusted Kate...

Stepping back from the door, Natasha motioned for the girl to enter before heading back toward her bed.“Close it behind you,” she instructed. 

Kate hesitated a moment, clearly taken aback, before stepping inside and closing the door.She lingered awkwardly by it until Natasha threw back the blanket to reveal her luggage.“You’re going after him,” Kate said, moving further into the room.

“SHIELD has no answers because it is not SHIELD business. It’s personal,” Natasha replied, “and I don’t intend to wait around for them to decide whether one agent’s life is worth the risk and resources.”While she spoke she continued to pack, and without looking she could tell that Kate was processing this information, and trying to decide which of her dozens of questions was most important to ask first.

In the end she decided that they all could wait.

“I’m going with you,” she stated.Natasha paused a moment before placing the last few things in her bag and zipping it up.Only then did she turn to meet Kate’s eyes.

“They took him because of me. This is my battle and it will not be an easy one,” she said, studying Kate closely.

“Then you’ll need back-up,” Kate replied, straightening her back and putting on a defiant air.

Natasha knew she should refuse, that she couldn’t risk another life for a personal vendetta, but she also knew it would be fruitless.Kate was clearly not the type to take no for an answer, especially when it was something important. If Natasha told her no the girl would undoubtably follow her and become a hindrance to the entire thing. Natasha could knock her unconscious, but perhaps she was right.This wasn’t about either of them, it was about finding Clint and getting him out safely.Kate was an exceptional agent and could only be an asset on this mission; and besides, she obviously cared about him.  

“Meet me in the garage in twenty minutes.Bring only what you need, no weapons.Everything else is taken care of,” Natasha finally agreed after a prolonged silence.Kate’s expression at these words shifted from determination to surprise, then to excitement.

“Twenty minutes.Got it,” she said, practically running for the door.Thankfully she didn’t leave with the cliché _you won’t regret this,_ as Natasha wasn’t sure whether it would be true in this case or not.She _did_ know, however, that she had a lot of explaining to do.She had to make sure Kate knew exactly what to expect when they got to Russia, and as much as Natasha preferred to keep her past to herself, this had to be a full disclosure mission.For Clint’s sake.

~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ ***** ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~

 

Clint awoke with a jolt and a scream, his entire body spasming and jerking as electricity coursed through it.It lasted only a moment, but even when the source was removed the pain continued, leaving him twitching and whimpering.

“Oh, good, you are awake,” a distinctly female voice said, making him wince.The electricity had done a number on his hearing implants, and amidst the static buzzing and crackling he was hearing, her voice cut through like nails on a chalkboard.

He tried to move but of course he was restrained.Heavy leather straps bound his wrists and ankles, and another stretched across his bare chest to hold him to the table where he lay.Finally blinking through his tears he got a look at his captor.“Tasha...” he murmured before his vision truly cleared.There were similarities, at least on the surface, but this woman was nothing like Natasha.The look in her eyes and the sneer on her lips was something he had never seen his partner wear.It was a look of pure hatred.

“ _Natasha_ ,” she scoffed.“Do not even speak that name. _Natasha_.” Spitting the word out again she shook her head.“ _Natalia,_ that is her true name. But of course you know that.”

An old enemy of Natasha’s, then, that much was obvious, but why take him?

“Who are you?” Clint asked.He had seen this scene in enough movies to know what part to play. _Who are you? What do you want with me?_ Those were the kinds of questions to ask, questions to keep her talking while he tried to figure a way out of this, and just maybe she would even tell him something useful, something that could help him escape.  

“Me?” she said with a terrible grin.“I am Yelena Belova.I am the _true_ Black Widow.Natalia has gone soft. _You_ made her that way.She no longer deserves that title.”

“What do you want with me?” Someone from the Red Room, someone who had undergone the same training as Natasha.A glimpse of what Natasha _could_ have been had she not turned away from it all.  

“Is it not obvious?You are bait,” Yelena said, and for a brief second Clint felt relieved.Bait meant she would keep him alive, it meant he had more time, and he knew this woman would be no match for Natasha.  

The relief didn’t last.

“Unfortunately for you, I prefer my bait cooked,” Yelena grinned that same malicious grin before sending another shock through Clint’s body.

The last thing he heard was his own scream before his hearing aids shorted out and there was only silence.

~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ ***** ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~

They had been on the road for ten minutes, and not a word had been spoken since leaving the garage.Natasha had to give Kate credit: it was clear the girl was practically itching to know who had taken Clint and why, but she didn’t ask.Maybe she was feeling intimidated by the journey ahead of her with the Black Widow for company, or perhaps she had the patience of a saint.Either way, it was rather impressive.

Glancing over at her, Natasha was tempted to see how long the silence would last, but she knew she owed Kate an explanation, and it wasn’t right to drag it out.

“How much do you know about me?” she finally broke the silence.  

Kate started slightly and turned her head to look at Natasha.Personally she didn’t know the Widow well, and for a moment she just observed her as if trying to determine if there was a correct answer to the question, and what it might be if there was.“Just what Clint told me,” she said, and catching the quick look her words earned she pressed on.“Nothing really personal or anything, just... you come up a lot.It’s actually kind of annoying.”

Clearly that was the correct answer as it earned a smile, albeit a fleeting one.Of course there were the rumours, the things she’d heard from other agents, but she figured that went without saying.She was right.

“I’m sure you’ve heard the stories of how I joined SHIELD,” Natasha stated, receiving a nod in reply.“But it’s not exactly common knowledge what I did before I went freelance.”

People knew she had been an assassin for hire before Clint had brought her in, but Fury had managed to keep her affiliations before that buried.It was need to know information that, as far as he was concerned, nobody else needed to know. Until now Natasha had agreed with him, but what if he was wrong?Maybe they should have talked about it, should have flushed out the Red Room years ago, should have found their new location and destroyed all that was left instead of only picking off the individuals that showed their faces.  

_You can’t live on maybes, remember._

“The Red Room was an underground faction of the KGB, so underground that it remained operational even after the Soviet Union fell **.** Its purpose was to create super-spies, and their favourite program involved training young girls to lie, manipulate and kill without thought or question.”

There was so much more to it, of course, but it was hard enough for Natasha to offer even the most condensed version to anyone, let alone someone she didn’t know all that well.

“I was the best, and earned the title of Black Widow, but they made a tactical error and I left,” Natasha continued, not elaborating on the ‘error’, though she could sense Kate’s curiosity.The girl didn’t need to know about Alexei, and how Natasha’s grief over his death had turned her away from the Red Room instead of ingratiating her further into it as they had expected.That part of the story had no bearing on today’s mission.“If Clint hadn’t found me first, I’m sure they would have.”

For a while there was silence, and Kate took the opportunity to try to digest everything she had just learned.It wasn’t much, purposefully vague, but to hear it directly from Natasha made it feel weightier and more deserving of careful consideration.“So why now?” Kate asked after a few silent minutes.“Why come after you now, after all these years?”

“I don’t know,” Natasha admitted.“They didn’t say.They only said...” she hesitated a moment before continuing.“They said they had something of mine, and that if I wanted him back I would have to go back in time.”

“Back in time?” Kate repeated, confused.

“They gave me a date, one that corresponds to one of my most famous missions,” Natasha explained.

Kate nodded as she put the pieces together.“So where this job took place, that’s where they have Clint.”

The girl was quick, Natasha had to give her that.“It’s not too late to turn back...”

“No way,” Kate protested with determination.“I’m your ace up the sleeve.They think they have your marksman... they won’t see me coming.”

“That’s what I’m counting on,” Natasha replied, pleased with the answer.“I’m supposed to come alone.They _can’t_ see you.”

“Don’t worry, they won’t,” Kate said with such confidence that Natasha believed her.“I’m gonna be so good that when we get Clint back he might have to start calling _me ‘_ Hawkeye’.”

The rest of the drive they discussed tactics, and once they boarded their plane it was agreed that they should try to get as much rest as they could so they would be at their best for what was to come.

Easier said than done.

~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ ***** ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~

If there was one good thing about being deaf it was that he didn’t have to hear his captor talk, didn’t have to hear her describe all the ways she was going to torture him and what she planned to do to Natasha once she arrived to save him.Clint had read her lips a few times, enough to get the gist of it all, and that had been more than he needed to know.

He had tried to convince her that Natasha wouldn’t show, that S.H.I.E.L.D. wouldn’t let her, but Yelena laughed it off.“Natalia cares for you, and that is her weakness.She will come for you,” she had said, and he had given up arguing.

They both knew she was right.

Eventually she had left him alone, presumably to rest and prepare, and while escape was the first thing on his mind, he couldn’t figure out how.He was still strapped securely to the table, and his body was weakened by the electroshocks and the blood loss from the many shallow cuts that now littered his chest and arms, not to mention the lack of sustenance.  

_Come on, think!You can get out of this!_ Clint tried to tell himself, but at this point even just trying to think hurt. After searching the room with his eyes as best he could from his prone position, in the end he had to accept that there were likely only two ways out of this: he had to trust that Natasha could beat this nutjob and save his ass, because otherwise the only way out was in a body bag.

~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ ***** ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~

It was mid-afternoon by the time Natasha and Kate reached the former’s safehouse in Asov, and she was glad for the remaining daylight.The house was off the beaten path, had no power, and for all intents and purposes it looked abandoned, which she supposed it was.  

Stepping over the threshold, Natasha paused just inside the doorway as a flood of memories washed over her.The last time she had been here she hadn’t been alone either, but it had been another archer by her side.Both her and Clint had been battle worn and weary, and had spent the first night tending to each other’s wounds and keeping watch.The next day, satisfied that they hadn’t been followed, they decided to stay another two.The days and nights had run together as they found comfort, solace and pleasure in each other’s arms, and closing her eyes she swore she could still feel his touch, still hear him whispering her name...

“I like the minimalist look.Very in right now,” Kate’s voice broke her out of her revery, and when she looked over at the girl she could see both concern and urgency in her gaze that was completely opposite to the flippant words.She really was very perceptive, not to mention discreet, and Natasha found herself more and more glad to have the company.

“I never was one for decorating,” she replied, quickly pulling herself together and striding across the room.  

The fireplace looked as old and commonplace as everything else, so Kate was a little surprised when Natasha touched something and a hidden panel was revealed.Surprised, and impressed.“Nice little arsenal you have there.All yours?” she asked, though she was pretty sure she already knew the answer when she spotted the bow and quiver hidden along with several guns.  

“I have never heard Clint praise another agent the way he does you,” Natasha said, running her fingertips along the bow before removing it from it’s hiding place.“This one he handcrafted himself, his own design.”Turning, she held it out to Kate. 

The bow was beautiful, painstakingly and lovingly constructed, and Kate actually hesitated a moment before taking it, as if it was some holy artifact she shouldn’t touch.Once in her hand, though, she tested the weight, the draw strength, and it all felt _right_.“Only fitting I save his ass with it then, huh?” she said, grinning at Natasha who couldn’t help but smile back, no matter how faintly.  

“I’m walking right in the front door and I’m packing light,” Natasha said as she handed Kate the quiver of arrows.“I get the feeling this is going to be a close fight.They’re not going to bring me the whole way here just to shoot me.”

Securing the quiver on her back, Kate nodded. “Figure it’ll be one of those talky villains that wants to explain everything before killing you?”

“Something like that,” Natasha said, slipping a small knife in her boot before closing the hidden panel once more.Truthfully she didn’t expect them to try to kill her at all.She assumed they wanted to capture her, perhaps try to brainwash her back to their cause.She couldn’t be certain, but it seemed like a lot of trouble if they only wanted her dead.

Once the fireplace appeared to be nothing more than that once again, Natasha found some old paper and some pencils and pulled a chair up to the small wooden table.“I was told to come alone, but I doubt they will exercise the same courtesy.”She started sketching a floorplan of the building from memory and pointing out the most likely spots for backup to be stationed.“This is where you come in...”

~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ ***** ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~

“It almost seems a shame to ruin such a handsome face,” Yelena said, and Clint read the words clearly on her lips.She had a sharp knife in her hand and seemed to be contemplating where to make the next cut.“Do you think she will still want you back once I am done with you?”

“I’ll still look better than you will once _she_ is done with _you,_ ” he replied with the cockiest grin he could muster under the circumstances.Him and his big mouth. 

The words were clearly unexpected and her expression shifted to rage.She seemed to get over her uncerntainty pretty quick, but just as he felt the first prick of the knife against his cheek she stopped, her head shooting up to look at the door behind him.After a moment she withdrew the knife.

“Lucky boy.She is early,” Yelena said, tucking the knife into her belt.“We will finish this later.”

She disappeared from view and Clint closed his eyes and took a deep, shaky breath.He had to get out of here.Yelena had spoken to someone at the door, so clearly she wasn’t alone, but Natasha most likely was.How many people would she be up against? He had seen her take on some pretty uneven odds and come out on top, but if Crazy Pants had similar training...

Struggling against his bonds, Clint tried to make some wiggle room, but suddenly a hand clamped around his throat and he looked up to see a rather large and mean looking Russian looking down at him.When he could hear it he could understand some of the language, but he couldn’t lipread it, though he was pretty sure whatever the man had just said wasn’t pleasant.

~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ ***** ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~

Two guards were stationed at the entrance to what was left of the old, burned out hospital, and as Natasha walked boldly up to them they stood aside and let her pass.  A minute later they both slumped to the ground, a single arrow through each of their hearts.  

Moving swiftly, silently, Kate located an alternate entrance and took the guards down there just as efficiently before slipping inside.  Her mission was clear: while Natasha took care of her personal business, likely a face-to-face meeting with someone from her past, Kate was not to interfere.  Her only goal was to find Clint and get him to safety by whatever means necessary.

~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ ***** ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~

Natasha’s skin felt cold and clammy the second she set foot in the building, and it took all of her strength to not close her eyes against the memories that bombarded her just from being here again.While some of the building remained intact, this wing was little more than a hollow shell, and she knew instinctively that it was here that she would meet her adversary.  

It was years since this mission, but she swore she could still smell the smoke, feel the heat from the flames, and hear the screams from within.Screams of those she was sent to kill; screams of those she wasn’t.Collateral damage; with a big job like this it was to be expected.

That hadn’t made it any easier.

**“Reliving all the fond memories?”** a voice sounded behind her, in Russian.Too caught up in her thoughts, Natasha hadn’t heard the approach.It was a mistake she could not make again. 

When she turned she was met by a blonde woman no older than Kate, and while Natasha was surprised to find a stranger, she was familiar enough with the stance, the bravado, and the look in her eyes.“ **Oh, I forgot,”** the girl continued in Russian before switching flawlessly to English. “You are no longer Russian.”

“You are like me,” Natasha said, looking her over.A student of the clearly still active Red Room.  

“No, I am _better,_ ” the blonde replied.  

“That depends on the criteria,” Natasha said with a faint smirk.“I do applaud your choice of venue. You’ve done your research.”

“I did not need to.Even after you defected we still had to hear of your achievements.Nobody could measure up to _Natalia Romanova_ ,” the blonde spat before a smirk of her own appeared on her lips.“Nobody until me.”

“And you are?”She was vaguely familiar to Natasha, but she would have been very young when Natasha had cut her ties with the Red Room.  

“Yelena Belova, the _true_ Black Widow!”Yelena circled her slowly, measuring her from every angle, and Natasha made no move to even acknowledge this.“I am the first to exceed all of your scores.Now there is only one thing keeping me from becoming the legend that you once were.You.”

Natasha betrayed no emotion, and looked rather bored at the whole exchange, which was actually a carefully mastered mask. “I believe you mean the legend that I _am_ ,” she said calmly, testing Yelena’s patience and control of her emotions.Perhaps technically she was an excellent mercenary, but there was more to being the best than that.“Legends never die.”

“But _you_ will!”And with that Yelena attacked.

~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ ***** ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~

The hand around Clint’s throat tightened, but weak and bound there was little he could do to stop it.  

So this was how he was going to die, tied to a table and choked to death in Russia of all places.Not quite the blaze of glory he had always imagined, but somehow he wasn’t surprised. Just his luck, really.He only wished he could save Natasha the pain and guilt.He had complete confidence that she would triumph and find him, but even in his last moments he couldn’t bring himself to think of how she would react when she discovered she was too late.Instead he thought of her smile, that quiet giggle she insisted was nothing of the sort, and the way she looked at him when he made an intentional fool of himself.

His chest ached and darkness started to cloud his vision when suddenly the pressure on his neck vanished.Blinking rapidly, he lifted his head to peer over the side of the table.On the floor lay the Russian with an arrow protruding from his eye socket. 

Furrowing his brow in confusion, Clint could only stare helplessly at his now deceased attacker until a sudden touch on his shoulder made him start.Whipping his head around he met the startled gaze of Kate Bishop.

“Clint... calling for you... here to...”

He tried to read her lips but he was too shocked and disoriented, and she was talking too fast.He quickly shook his head to cut her off.“Can’t hear.Aids are fried,” he said. Kate’s lips thinned grimly before she nodded.“Where’s Natasha?”He was surprised to see Kate, surprised that Natasha would bring any help at all, but he was trained to think on his feet and roll with the punches so he pushed all that aside.There was no time to waste on the trivial things, he could get an explanation later.

“She is downstairs. She sent me to find you,” Kate replied, mouthing the words clearly for him to read.That done, she set about releasing the straps that held him down.Helping him sit up and swing his legs over the side of the table, she kept one hand on his back to steady him.

“Guards?” Clint asked, looking up at her.She grinned at him and picked up the bow again, one that he instantly recognized.“Nice bow,” he said.He had designed and crafted it by hand, and the only other person to ever touch it until now was Natasha.Kate simply shrugged one shoulder at him before rounding the table to retrieve her arrow from the downed guard.When she returned to Clint’s side she raised her eyebrows at him in silent question.Was he able to stand?He nodded and slid off the edge of the table, sucking in a breath when his feet touched the cold floor.For that brief moment he was glad he couldn’t hear because Kate’s expression made it clear that that was the only reason she wasn’t teasing him right now. _“All those cuts and bruises and you wince at a little bit of cold?”_ he could imagine her saying.

It took him a moment to steady himself.His legs were weak but they would carry him; they had to.Who knew how many more guards were out there and Kate was going to need both arms free to fend them off.She couldn’t drag his sorry ass out of here. He had to do this on his own.

“Alright, let’s go,” he said, gritting his teeth and shuffling along after Kate as she led the way.

~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ ***** ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~

The two Black Widows were fairly well matched.One attacked and the other countered only to launch their own assault back, ensuring that neither of them remained on the offensive for long.Ultimately, though, it was Natasha’s experience that gave her the edge, but Yelena was not without her own tricks.

“It is good to see you have kept up your skills,” she said, blocking a punch and leaping away from a kick.“That lazy partner of yours did not even put up a fight.”

The falter in Natasha’s movements was so slight it was almost unnoticeable, but it was exactly what Yelena had been going for.“He really was nice to look at, it was a shame what I had to do to him,” she continued, fighting back with renewed ferocity, and taking great delight in the fact that she was gaining the upper hand.“But he kept pretending like he could not even hear me.So I had to make sure he was paying attention.”

Those words struck Natasha particularly hard and she made a misstep, leaving her right side open.Yelena didn’t fail in taking advantage, grabbing Natasha’s arm and bringing her knee up into her ribs once, twice, three times before Natasha wrenched free, holding her side and gasping.“I bet he heard himself scream, though.Everyone in the building did.”

A boot to the face brought Natasha to the ground.

~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ ***** ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~

When Kate left the examining room where she had found Clint, she didn’t take the same route that had brought her in.She knew her orders, knew she should be getting him out, but the idea of leaving Natasha here with who knew how many other thugs didn’t sit well with her.So, recalling the map Natasha had drawn earlier, she moved towards the front, hoping to cross paths on her way out.

Clint stayed close behind her the whole time, his whole body stiff with pain and agitation.Kate could only imagine how difficult this was for him, having to trust solely in her to listen for both of them.The building was eerily silent as it was, but at least she could _hear_ that.For all Clint knew there was gunfire and explosions going on in other parts of the building.  

It didn’t take long for the scenery to start to change.Charred walls, missing staircases, piles of rubble everywhere.That’s when Kate heard it: the sounds of struggle, the raised voice.Stopping in her tracks she peered over the railing to the floor below and saw Natasha and a blonde woman locked in a bitter battle, one that the latter seemed to be winning.Nocking an arrow, she aimed at Natasha’s opponent, but before she could take the shot, Clint grabbed her hand on the arrow and shook his head.  

“Don’t,” he said.“Not yet.”He knew more about the situation than Kate, knew there was some history there, and he knew that this was Natasha’s fight.She wouldn’t want them to interfere, not unless it was absolutely necessary, and even then he knew they would catch some flack for it.This was her fight, but unless it was clear she was not going to make it through then they had to let her finish it.

Against her better judgment Kate listened to him, but while she lowered the bow she kept the arrow ready just in case.

~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ ***** ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~

Pushing herself up to her knees and elbows, Natasha pressed one hand to her ribs before spitting out a mouthful of blood.That last kick had split her bottom lip as well as cut the inside of them on her teeth, and she was sure a few of her ribs were at least bruised, but not as bruised as her ego. The thought that Clint’s torture had been worse because he was deaf had been unexpected.Yelena wouldn’t know of his disability, so Natasha could only assume those words were true. She had let Yelena throw her off, had let her get into her head and use her emotions against her.Another mistake she would not repeat.  

“I must say, I am disappointed,” Yelena said, pulling a gun from her belt and pointing it at Natasha in a way that was careless, as if she was no longer a threat.“For years I was made to believe that you were the best and that nobody could measure up to you.I expected more of a fight.”

“I’m sorry I do not live up to your expectations,” Natasha replied, lifting her head and glaring up at Yelena through her hair.“Perhaps the years _have_ made me soft, or maybe I just found there was more to life than pain and death.”

Yelena laughed, and it was a cold, cruel sound.“Is this the part where you try to convince me to give up my life as you did and take some sort of moral stand?”She cocked the gun.“Because I am not interested.”

As the gun was aimed with more purpose now, Natasha caught sight of movement behind Yelena, on the mezzanine above.Looking over Yelena’s shoulder she saw Kate taking aim... and Clint at her side.There was blood on her teeth when she smiled at her would-be executioner.

“That’s really too bad, little one...” she said, and before anyone could fire their weapon Natasha had swept her foot around, kicking the gun out of Yelena’s hand.Without missing a beat she was on her feet, grabbing Yelena’s arm and twisting it behind her back while kicking her leg at just the right angle to cause a sickening crunch to echo through the room.Yelena cried out but Natasha held her tight, one arm locked around her throat, cutting off her air supply.“Because if your goal is to be better than me you have failed.Fighting for what is right and letting myself care for others has not made me weak.Those things give me strength.If you continue along the path you are on you will one day grow tired, and you will not be as lucky as I was.”

She looked up at Kate and Clint and nodded her head; the former lowered her weapon.“Perhaps worse, one day someone will come along who _is_ better than you, and then what?With nothing else in your life you will have nothing to fall back on.You will have lived your life in a shadow only to be overshadowed yourself, and then who will you be?”Yelena’s breathing was laboured and Natasha felt her giving up the struggle.“You will never be the Black Widow, little one, but maybe it is time you find out who Yelena is.I was given the chance to become more than Natalia, to discover who I truly was, and now I am giving you that chance.”

Loosening her hold she let Yelena drop to the floor where the younger woman collapsed, gasping for breath.“If you ever try to get to me through anyone I love ever again I will not be so merciful.I hope we never meet again.”

Looking up to the mezzanine again she found Kate and Clint were gone.Stooping to collect the fallen gun Natasha walked away without a single look back.

~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ ***** ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~

The drive was made in relative silence, both out of respect for Clint’s situation, and because they were all weary in many different ways and needed the time for quiet, personal reflection.  

When they reached Natasha’s safehouse Kate helped Clint from the vehicle, and he let himself lean heavily on her now that she didn’t need to be ready to defend them any longer.Natasha moved ahead of them, disabling the securities and letting them into the house before locking up behind them once more.

“Get him to the bedroom,” she said, the first words spoken since they had reunited outside of the burned out hospital, and more words than had been said then.“I will start a fire and heat some water.”

Kate didn’t argue, and although Clint’s eyes lingered on Natasha even as she retreated, he didn’t either.  

Once in the bedroom Kate threw back the cover and helped him lay on the bed.When he was settled she lit the lamp on the nightstand and sat on the edge of bed, giving him a weak smile.When he opened his eyes to find her looking at him he smiled back.“That was some fancy shooting back there,” he said.He had seen more examples of her handiwork on the guards outside when they had left the hospital through the front entrance.He had always been impressed with her skills on the range, but this was the first time he had seen her in a true combat situation and she certainly hadn’t disappointed.  

“It was,” she agreed, mouthing the words carefully and smiling a little wider. “Of course having a good bow helped.”

“I made her myself, you know,” Clint said, and Kate’s expression made it clear that yes, she did know.So, Natasha had told her the story.“My original design, and still one of my best.”

“Don’t worry, I’ll clean her well before I put her away,” Kate said.She moved to stand, but Clint’s hand caught her wrist.

“It’s kind of a shame she sits in that wall all the time, just collecting dust...” he trailed off, and the excited spark in Kate’s eyes banished any reluctance he had about what he was about to do.“Keep her.I got a new one now, and she deserves a little action.”

It was clear that there were a million things Kate wanted to say, but in the end she settled on a simple ‘Thank you’ and a press of his hand.After that they sat in comfortable silence until Natasha joined them with a basin of steaming water, a wash cloth and a first aid kit.“I’ll go see what I can find for food,” Kate said, excusing herself from the room.Obviously Clint and Natasha needed some time alone, and there was a perfectly comfortable looking sofa in the other room calling her name.After she took proper care of her new bow, of course.

Setting the basin on the night stand, Natasha claimed the space Kate had just vacated.It took her a moment to make herself look at Clint, and while she was relieved to see that the damage wasn’t as extensive as Yelena had led her to believe, the fact that every injury he sustained was because of her simply turned her stomach.Without meeting his eyes she set about cleaning the worst of his wounds first and assessing any further damage.She checked each finger and toe, and even his mouth despite his protests.She was relieved to find that she had reached him before Yelena had started breaking bones or removing bits of him.

Clint watched her as she disinfected his wounds and bandaged what was necessary, noting how she looked anywhere but his eyes.He didn’t tell her it wasn’t her fault, because while she had done nothing to cause it, it had happened because of her, and he knew she wouldn’t accept the words.Instead he just let her work, let her fix the damage done as best she could, and only when she was clearly just lingering, unsure what to do next, did he finally speak.“Tasha...” he said softly, reaching up to gently touch his fingers to her cut and bruised lip.She started at the touch and instinctively her eyes shot up to meet his.  

Then she was lost.

He always had such expressive eyes, and now was no exception.Within their blue depths she saw so many things: pain, affection, acceptance, sadness, but among all of them she saw no blame, no anger, no accusation.Unfortunately she felt enough of all those things for the both of them.  

“Looks like you need a little fixing too,” he continued but Natasha shook her head.Gently taking his hand she lowered it back to the bed before letting go.

_I am fine,_ she signed to him, and despite everything Clint smiled.She had already been fluent in many languages when he had first brought her to S.H.I.E.L.D., but when he had confessed to her about his hearing loss she had made sure to add another to her repertoire.He had told her it wasn’t necessary, that the implants worked fine, but she had always said that there could come a time when they didn’t.

As always, she had been right.

It was a relief to not have to focus on reading her lips, and he relaxed back against the pillow a little.When he opened his eyes this time he found Natasha watching him intently. _What happened?_ she asked, and pointed to her ears.  

He didn’t want to tell her, didn’t want to give her more to feel guilty about, but he knew she wouldn’t let him get out of it, and he couldn’t lie to her.They had passed that point a while ago, and now even the thought of it left a bad taste in his mouth. _Just a little electrocution,_ he signed back, trying to keep the answer light, but it lost its effect without the inflection to go with it.  

She winced at the explanation and looked away again.After a moment she moved to stand and reached for the basin but Clint grabbed her arm and shook his head.“Stay,” he said, tugging her gently back down.“Please.”

The plea in his voice, in his eyes, was difficult to refuse, and reluctantly she settled at his side again.She couldn’t avoid him, couldn’t avoid talking to him, and maybe it would be easier this way.Her voice would betray her, but her hands never failed her.They were always steady, always strong, even when she couldn’t be.

_I am sorry -_ she started but Clint cut her off, grabbing her hands and shaking his head at her.“Don’t,” was all he said before releasing her again.She wasn’t so easily waylaid, though. _I should have killed her when I had the chance._ At the time it had seemed like the right decision, letting Yelena go, but seeing Clint like this and thinking about all the pain he must have gone through at her hands filled Natasha with such anger and guilt that it was hard to justify now that she had let the woman go free.  

_You gave her a chance.Like I gave you,_ Clint responded. 

Natasha shot him an unpleasant look.She knew it was impossible not to draw comparisons between them, but in this moment that was the last thing she wanted. _She could come after you again,_ she replied, the movements of her hands quick and precise as she formed the words.  

_She won’t._ He smiled slightly with that and Natasha’s brow furrowed. _She is arrogant, not stupid._

Natasha wanted to believe him, but it was difficult with his wounds so raw and the way they were communicating.All of this because Yelena had wanted to prove herself better than Natasha. _But she could..._ she started to say, but her hands fell still. Some things were difficult to say even without her voice. _She took you because she knew you were important to me, and that I would come for you._

_I knew you would too,_ Clint replied without hesitation.For a long moment neither of them said anything nor moved, and a heaviness settled in the air around them.They were so close to saying the things they had been dancing around for some time now, but neither one knew the right words.  

_Why do you have such faith in me?_ Natasha eventually asked, her eyes searching his.  

Slowly he reached up to cup the side of her face, his thumb gently brushing her cheek.“You’ve never let me down,” he said quietly.

The words might have seemed simple to anyone else, but Natasha knew their true importance.Clint’s early life had been full of disappointment and betrayal, and everyone he had cared about had let him down.His life had certainly improved since joining S.H.I.E.L.D., but while she was pretty sure he trusted and admired Nick Fury and now Kate, she knew the list was still very short.The fact that he believed that much in her meant everything.

Covering his hand with her own, she turned her face into his touch and placed a lingering kiss on his palm before opening her eyes to meet his again.Whatever words they were struggling to convey passed within that gaze.Resting her free hand on the bed beside him she leaned down to kiss him softly, ignoring the stinging in her cut lip.Pain had never felt so good.  

The kiss remained gentle, slow, but no less meaningful for it.It was filled with truth, longing, and a promise of so much more, and when she finally pulled away they were both smiling.Yelena had taken him because she knew he was important to Natasha, but she could have never known just how much.This wasn’t about debts and ledgers but about true affection, trust and devotion.He was a weakness that could be exploited, but she didn’t want to think about that now.  

Stretching out beside him on the bed, Natasha lay on her side with as little distance between them as possible without actually touching him.He was badly cut and bruised but she found a patch of skin on his shoulder that was free of harm that she brushed her lips against.It was here that she made her confessions, softly spoken words that he could not hear.He could feel her breath, feel the vibration of her voice, and as the exhaustion pulled him into a deep sleep he imagined all the things she was saying, all the things he had longed to hear her say.

He had no way of knowing that his imagination was pretty damn close to reality.

 


End file.
